52-8

I wanted to have a picture of Kekoa this week, but he was being a stinker at the time and Ikaika was more than willing to give me a kiss. I'll take it. The other day, Ikaika randomly said, "Mommy, we're going to have another baby!" Now, I am not expecting as far as I know, but it is a happy thought - to add another little one. And it's fun that Ikaika will actually understand what is going on this next time. I love each of my boys so much and I know that love will only grow as our family expands.

52-7

Not a sleeping/nap picture this time. But still cuddly and loving. Poor Sepa has been sick this whole week - runny nose, fever, throwing-up, and the worst diaper rash of any of my children. I feel so bad for him. It made him extra cuddly though. There was one day where he spent nearly the whole day just lying on my chest. It makes me appreciate the times when he is crawling around, enjoying life and smiling. He is on the tail end of it and this should be a better week. I love being a mom and having the ability to comfort him. It does make being weaned harder for me though. I feel like nursing is the sure-fire way to giv the best comfort and I am a little sad to not have that to offer. But I give him all my love nonetheless.

52-6

Well, it looks like I may have found myself a new photographer for this blog: Kekoa. It is fun to give him the camera and see what things he captures. Obviously at age 4 it is mostly by chance, but it seems to be working out for now. So here is another naptime shot. I was helping Ikaika fall asleep for his nap and thought it was again something I wanted to remember. The second picture is of Kaiks holding my "arm." Both the oler boys have an attachment to my left arm. I love it.
I thought this was a good chance to add this article I wrote to submit to the Ensign. Amazingly it has been accepted for print, I just don't know how soon it will be printed. So here it is:

Whole Enough, by Michele Reyes

When I was 17 years old, I lost my left arm in a car accident. I was traveling to a student conference in the middle of the night with five other classmates and a chaperon when we hit a horse. As a result of the accident I lost my left arm and badly damaged my left leg. It was an experience that would forever change my life. Though there have been difficult days and trying moments, I feel this refiners fire has given me an opportunity to witness the power of the atonement in a unique way.
My life now is all about being a wife and a mother, two roles I love deeply. Before the birth of my children, I often wondered about my adequacy to be a mother. I wondered how could I possibly do it with the use of only one arm? Twelve years later, I am right in the middle of motherhood with three sweet boys. I have adjusted well and for now the boys hardly notice that I am different than other mothers. My missing arm has gone from being a hindrance to a thing of love. Both of the older boys have become quite attached to what remains of my left arm. It is a source of comfort for them to hold when they cry and almost a necessity in falling asleep at night. This attachment might be because of many reasons, but I prefer to see it as evidence of the Savior’s ability to make something good out of something so tragic. I cannot describe the sweetness I feel when that part of me can provide such comfort to my children. Motherhood has brought a certain perspective to my physical limitation as I have felt the atonement already begin to heal me.
Having the use of only one arm affects everyday life. The daily demands of motherhood such as changing diapers, preparing dinner, or trying to comfort two or more children who just need mommy, have been sometimes difficult with my unique circumstances. These times give me reason to reflect on the reality of the resurrection and the Savior’s ability to heal me. Thus, the faith-promoting examples of healing found in the scriptures have special meaning to me.
One of my favorites is found in the Book of Mormon when the Savior visited the people in America and healed their sick. I have more than once imagined what it might have been like to have been there as one of those who were healed by the Savior. 3 Nephi 17:7 begins with His loving invitation:
“Have ye any that are sick among you? Bring them hither. Have ye any that are lame, or blind, or halt, or maimed, or leprous, or that are withered, or that are deaf, or that are afflicted in any manner? Bring them hither and I will heal them, for I have compassion upon you; my bowels are filled with mercy.”
Then, after recognizing that it was because of their faith that he could make them whole, he proceeds with his miracle.
“ And it came to pass that when he had thus spoken, all the multitude, with one accord, did go forth with their sick and their afflicted, and their lame, and with their blind, and with their dumb, and with them that were afflicted in any manner; and he did heal them every one as they were brought forth unto him” (3Nephi 17:9).
For me this account is one of the most touching events described in the scriptures. But my perspective has changed as I have embraced motherhood with one arm. I once thought I was one of the people who most looked forward to the resurrection and the idea of being made whole. But now I am not so much in a hurry. More and more I feel the reality of the atonement working in my life now. I realized the healing power need not be only when the resurrection occurs. I feel the wholeness has already begun when every night before bed, my son holds my arm so tenderly as he slips into peaceful slumber. This realization has been to me just as meaningful as any physical miracle of healing. I have decided that for now, I am as whole as I need to be.

52-5

I had Kekoa take this shot. It was my only hope of getting something of everyday life and rocking my baby to sleep. It was hard to get a decent shot with the window in the back. And it is super grainy. But it looks very old and antique-ish. I was putting Sepa down for his afternoon nap. This is the usual routine. Putting on the white noise maker, rocking him and singing to him. I love the way he is holding my neck.

52-4

Not the greatest picture - but it does the job of documenting the week - the week I turned 30. So thirty years and three kids. I do not mind growing older. I just need to get the rest of my family before I get too old for running after children : )